Heroes heroes heroes

I've just been reading Eric Bogosian's excellent website, and in one article he talks about why he writes. He goes on to describe the cascades of thought and how they need an outlet ... and how writers are heroes to him.

"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a hairy bloke from Manchester writing a book!"

Modest as I am, reading his view gave me quite a buzz. I mean, damn it, writing is a heroic thing. Allen Ginsberg's great quote on the Cold War (America, "Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb") would be a ballsy thing to say at any time. In the 50's, as a gay drug taking Jew with interests in esoteric religions, it was extremely bold.

Now to shamelessly bring this back to myself.

Only last week I heroically took the re-(re-re-re-re-re)edited opening chapter of a book to my writers' group. I found several sniffing about it far more than I liked.

I'd turned an 8 page chapter into 3 pages, and one feller said that I "needed about a page and half more." Ah well. I'm now turning my brains upside down trying to find the right bits to put back in. A painful way of getting nowhere is how this looks, if I'm honest. On the plus side, it was considered to be tense and claustrophobic, which is what I'm aiming for to get the ball rolling.

Anyway, I decided that I was going to list a big group of my heroes from a variety of different fields. Just people who have always been great and noble, people I've always been glad to have known about.

Clint Eastwood - my first favourite film star, back when I was a boy. Dammit I had great taste even then. Needs no explanation.
Sales at the hat shop picked up in no time.

Bill Hicks - one of the funniest, boldest and most honest comedians. Elevated stand-up to a rebellious art form that eviscerated idiocy, lies and greed like nobody else. Very few people can get within a hair's breadth - maybe George Carlin, but few else.

One of my favourite bits of his is on the Dangerous CD, talking about musicians - his near feral screech of Play from your fucking heart! is scalding.
"Okay ... you want me to explain the mess of today? Well, I died 15 years ago ... but let's see if anything's changed ..."

Jimi Hendrix - one of the best "victories" in my teens was playing my dad Purple Haze. My old feller was a professional cellist and rarely listened to anything that wasn't classical ... this blew his hair 40 foot but dammit he loved it. Good call Dad.
George Orwell - a less predictable choice, but this man was one of my gods in earlier life. I still rave about him today, but haven't read anything of his in maybe 18 months. Some time soon I will have to change that.
Mr Orwell and his new Nokia.

PG Wodehouse - anyone who doesn't know Mr Wodehouse and his sublime works is missing a treat. He's probably the funniest writer who ever lived, or at least an excellent candidate for that. Below are two of my favourite of his jokes:

"He wasn't exactly disgruntled, but looked very far from being gruntled."

"The Right Honourable was a tubby little chap who looked like he'd been poured into his clothes and forgot to say when."

Wodehouse's skill with words simply astounds, as he had a flexibility and music in his prose that is pure delight.
Exercise videos have changed a bit since his day.

Tina Turner - still sexy, husky, delicious ... a voice that could overheat a vicar from 500 feet.
"I lost weight the Wodehouse way ..."

It's an odd thing to say that I have women who are heroes, but how else do you describe:

Judi Dench - one of the very few people who look like they could keep James Bond in line just by looking cross and occasionally waggling her eyebrows. Quite a skill.
"Get me 007 ... and a hammer."

Joanna Lumley - manages to cram as much poshness into one syllable as Rolls-Royce manage in about 200 cars. Incredible ... ??? No idea what the word is.
"I believe the word is 'thing-ness.'"

The next two aren't heroes, just people I've wanted to get close to for no small amount of time ...

Helen Slater - she was only in one film that I've seen, and in fairness it was crap, but my gum she looked very tasty in it. An 8 year old me had his eyes out on stalks.
"Look, a bloke with a beard writing a book ... see ya!"

Elle MacPherson - my most lusted after celebrity. No question, no debate, nada ... oh yes.
"25% off bathing costumes, this week only ..."

That's all for now. More later if it occurs to me.